This month, I am delving deep into one of the common set of pitfalls faced by many in our industry. They’re well-intentioned, but they might hold you back and can hinder growth.

Setting Boundaries in Tutoring: Your Business, Your Rules!

The Pressure of Obligation

Don’t let others dictate what you do and how you do it. Avoid bartering and discounts. If a client can’t afford your fee, they’re not the right fit. The reality is some people will always find your fee out of reach, no matter how much you lower it. And that’s okay.

Sometimes, we feel obligated to accommodate every request, to ‘be kind’ and take on every lead that comes our way. Trust me, I’ve been there and learned my lesson. We may feel we are being generous, but it usually backfires.

Don’t get burnt out trying to please everyone, as Holly Billinghurst from @TeachAllAboutIT warns, “New students are like jaffa cakes – they fool you into thinking there’s room for more, but eventually, you’re going to make yourself sick.”

If you do not want to tutor late or on weekends, be clear about it. Stand your ground. Your Business, Your Rules!

A Case in Point: An Experience Worth Sharing

Allowing clients to dictate the terms builds resentment and can lock you into financial and emotionally detrimental situations. Often issues that build gradually on top of other issues and then sneak up on you and are now a big deal, but you have been backed into a corner where having let other situations happen, you now find yourself in an unenviable situation of not really knowing how to get yourself out of the mess. One might argue that it’s just a slight concession or a minor price change, but it sets the tone for the entire working relationship.

Four years ago, I was approached to teach two siblings while still teaching in person. This was to teach two students, but with a long travel distance, I was coaxed into agreeing to a “deal” where the price for both was less than twice a single child. It seemed fine initially – after all, I was teaching two students but only one travel cost, so what was the problem?

However, issues arose when the older sibling stopped lessons after about six months, and I found myself backed into a corner, still teaching the younger one at half of what they had paid for both. That meant I was still teaching them for the regular fee minus half of the original discount. I was missing out on that small chunk of money every time I taught her.

We had then gone into lockdown, and I no longer had to travel anywhere and was entirely online from then on. It felt petty to stand my ground and demand that the fee be changed to the original 1 child fee, so sadly, as I felt so awkward haggling and possibly losing the student, I let it go.

Even though I raised my prices for them over the years, I always felt a sting of resentment teaching her at an increasingly lower rate compared to my other students. As luck would have it or not… this child became my longest-ever student, and I have only just finished teaching her after four years. I summoned enough courage to insist twice that I needed to raise the rate to bring it closer in line with my other students. But she still remained on the lowest fee of all my students, even with two modest increases.

All of this long-term minor angst and resentment came from my initial decision to agree to reduce the rate as it was for two children. I do want to add that the child was a delight to teach, and the mum was lovely, and they thought what I did to help her cope with a subject that she found very tricky was excellent; hence they stayed until she had taken her GCSE, but that doesn’t detract from the fact that the initial decision led to all the other cascading decisions which became harder and harder to enforce. If I had said something earlier, none of this would have happened.

This is an extreme case but one to highlight how just one concession can, in the wrong circumstance, escalate into an ongoing problem more significant than you would ever predict. I have just worked out how much that original decision cost me over the four years. A conservative estimate is that it cost me over £1500. Yes, an additional £1500 that I would have had either from that family or if they had stopped, I would have replaced her with a full-paying student. Let that amount sink in; it is sobering…

This situation taught me that setting boundaries at the start can prevent such problems. It’s an extreme case, but it underscores the importance of setting boundaries in business.

From Financial Negotiations to Boundary Issues

Here’s something I’ve noticed: Those who negotiate prices vigorously at the outset often become boundary-pushers later on. This mindset isn’t just limited to pricing. It extends to scheduling, last-minute changes, and other requests that can disturb your routine and business flow.

For instance, there were times when a session time was proposed, and I’d adjust my schedule to accommodate. Yet, after all the juggling, the client might cancel or propose another change. This constant back-and-forth can wear you down, and ultimately, it’s not beneficial for your business or peace of mind.

Of course, it doesn’t mean being rigid or unhelpful. I always strive to help prospective clients find an alternative tutor who is the right fit if I’m not. Whether it’s referring them to other tutors or offering advice on where to look, I believe in being helpful. But remember, in business, kindness shouldn’t be mistaken for weakness. Stick to your principles, and your business will thrive, ensuring you serve your students to the best of your abilities.

Your Business, Your Rules! Stick to your terms from the outset. Yes, be open to flexibility, but never compromise the essence of your business.

The Power of Professional Boundaries in Tutoring

It’s not about a reluctance to assist others. It’s about safeguarding oneself from being manipulated into tasks that go against one’s comfort zone. Recognise that if you’ve found yourself in this situation more than once, you have the autonomy to dictate the terms of your business.

For instance:

If you choose not to teach during weekends, that’s within your right.
If you prefer to teach only specific age groups or academic levels, that’s your prerogative.
If you have a particular ethos and teaching style, that is your choice too.

Being discerning about whom you engage with is vital. It’s liberating to recognise when a student isn’t a good fit and say, “I’m sorry, we might not be the right match for each other.” Their acceptance or displeasure doesn’t need to dictate your decision. Your well-being and the integrity of your service should always come first.

Especially for those new to tutoring, the fluctuation in enquiries might be nerve-wracking. But with time, you’ll learn to trust your judgment. Even if you turn someone away, rest assured another student, better suited for your teaching style, will come along.

There’s a quote that I often remember: “In trying to please all, he had pleased none.” Stick to your principles. Serve your students well but on your terms. Your Business, Your Rules!

Setting the Stage Right: Empowerment Through Onboarding

Confidently declining an offer is empowering. One of the methods to bolster this confidence is establishing a robust onboarding system. An effective onboarding process allows you to identify potential students that align with your teaching philosophy easily.

A comprehensive onboarding process is one of the best ways to set boundaries.

For example, when a new enquiry comes in via my website or social media, they are directed to email me. My reply, a mainly standardised email, invites them for a short, free advice call on Zoom via a calendar booking app. This structured approach showcases professionalism and avoids unnecessary back-and-forths.

Before the call, they fill out a Google form that provides me with preliminary insights. If their requirements don’t align with my offerings, I can kindly direct them elsewhere, even before our conversation.

For clarity, I offer a holistic, relaxed, yet tailored teaching method. I focus on cultivating independent thought rather than rote memorisation. If a potential client’s intent leans towards exam preparations like the 11 plus or entrance exams, which isn’t my forte, I’ll guide them to other suitable tutors.

My onboarding involves welcome packs, FAQs, and transparent pricing. This ensures my clients recognise my professionalism from the get-go.

When they respect my terms from day one, negotiations rarely, if ever, surface. Your Business, Your Rules!

A Peek Into What’s Coming: The New Coaching Programme

I’m excited to share that soon; I’ll launch a coaching programme detailing creating an effective onboarding system that works for you…

It’ll cover tools like Linktree for centralised linking, calendar booking apps, electronic document signing, automatic payments, tight terms and conditions, welcome packs with FAQs, Canva for infographics, and the use of flowcharts to explain the client’s journey from enquiry to regular lessons. These systems can help you streamline your processes and maintain professional boundaries without compromising your values or quality.

Remember, it’s vital to stay true to your principles. Whether it’s about your availability, pricing, or teaching methodology, stand firm. If a prospective client doesn’t align with your terms, guiding them to a more suitable tutor is always a viable option. Your Business, Your Rules!

Final Words

For those interested in optimising their onboarding, reach out! Let’s chat about it. And keep an eye out for details on the upcoming 5-day onboarding challenge. Connect with me, and I’ll include you in the priority list.

Your Business, Your Rules! Continue to stay resolute in your convictions, and with the right boundaries in place, your professional journey will be both prosperous and fulfilling.